Tuesday, October 30, 2012


Once people are aware of your presence, and perhaps vaguely intrigued, you need to stir their interest before it settles on someone else. What is obvious and striking may attract their attention at first, but that attention is often short-lived; in the long run, ambiguity is much more potent. Most of us are much too obvious, instead of this, be hard to figure out. Send mixed signal, both tough and tender, both spiritual and earthy, both innocent and cunning. A mix qualities suggests dept, which fascinated even as it confuses. An elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to know more, drawing them into your circle. Create such a power by hinting at something contradictory within you.

Nothing can proceed in seduction unless, you can attract and hold your victim's attention, your physical presence becoming a haunting mental presence. It is actually quite easy to create that first stir- an alluring style of dress, a suggestive glance, something extreme about you. But what happens next? Our minds are barrage with images- not just from the media but from the disorder of daily life. And many of these images are quite striking. You become just one more thing screaming for attention; unless you spark the more enduring kind of spell that makes people think of you in your absence. That means engaging their imaginations, making them think there is more to you than they see. Once they start embellishing your image with their fantasies, they are hooked.

This must, however, be done early on, before your targets know too much and their impressions of you is set. It should occur the moment they lay eyes on you. By sending mixed signals in that first encounter, you create a little surprise, a little tension: you seem to be one thing (innocent, brash, intellectual, witty), but you also throw them a glimpse of something else (devilish, shy, spontaneous, sad) keep things subtle: if the second quality is too strong, you will seem schizophrenic. But make them wonder why you might be shy or sad underneath your brash intellectual wit, and you will have their attention. Give them an ambiguity that lets them see what they want to see, capture their imagination with little voyeuristic glimpse into your dark soul.

To capture and hold attention, you need to show attributes that go against your physical appearance, creating depth and mystery. If you have a sweet face and an innocence air, let out hint of something dark, even vaguely cruel in your character. It is not advertised in your words, but in your manner. Do not worry if this under-quality is a negative one, like danger, cruelty, or amorality; people will be drawn to the enigma anyway and pure goodness is rarely seductive. Remember: no one is naturally mysterious, at least not for long; mystery is something you have to work at, a ploy on your part, and something that must be used in the seduction. {Excerpted from: The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene}
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