When someone heart is broken, life becomes colorless, food loses taste, bright sunshine filled days look as gray and as bleak as rainy days. It is a rough road to travel and truthfully most adults have traveled it at least once. Some never made it, there are sorrows too big to bear for some people. Don't let that happen to you.
Instead of getting emotional, which will devastate your chances of reconciliation, be agreeable, tell your ex that you think breaking up may be best option for both of you. Remember he/she is leaving because he/shes had it with your behavior and he/she is expecting you to blow a cork and start going nuts. He/she expects it, think this through and get your mind around it, your ex expects you to become emotional and make a bunch of promises and maybe even throw things around, or worse. You can immediately change the break-up dynamic by remaining calm and saying that you have actually been thinking along the same line, a break-up will allow us some space, this relationship was not really working for me and now I see it hasn't been working for you either".
Now, Take some time, a few weeks may be a month and give your ex time to go out and get their head figured out a little bit, to get to a place where they can hash out what has been going on. Same goes for you, heck you might even find that a break-up really is what you do need. Some space to think and evaluate where you want to go with your life will let you make a more rational decision.
Don't quit reading, Hear me out, you just planted the seed of doubt in their mind as soon as you reacted calmly to their leaving, your ex is thinking "wow I thought he/she was gonna freak out, maybe..", you see he/she is going to lose some of that confidence that they made the right decision then and there. That uncertainty will work on them over the next few weeks.
During your time apart analyze what the problems were and if you need to, get some counseling to help you figure out what went wrong. Learn how to change those things about your behavior that you can fix. Don't allow yourself to become isolated, this is a very tough time for you and you need family and friends around you. If you cut them off you could end up in a terrible and dangerous depression. In fact as part of your personal therapy make yourself go see some one you haven't seen for a while, an old high school chum or other person you really would like to touch base with but have been unable to do so for some time now.
The exercise is to get you out and keep you moving if you are asked to go out to parties go, but don't get wasted this is a time for reflection. Just sip your drinks and stop after three or so. You have to be careful not to go falling of the edge right now.
Now if you truly had some character flaws, something you know you could work on that was maybe the central problem with your ex then as you are making those changes, you can let it get out to their side of the family that your making progress. You don't ask them to tell him/her, you just let them know your changing your game. The news will get back to your ex sooner or later.
In most cases, you won't have to wait long before your ex calls you, I mean in less than a week, maybe it will take longer, but they will probably call you, if you have played it cool and not gone crazy or got all emotional. You start crying and begging them to stay, they will hate you. But if you stayed cool then your ex will eventually call you. When they do, don't get all excited and try to get together right away, that will not work, that will undo that hard work you've done being cool when they left you. Instead keep you conversation short tell them your glad they called but you are in the middle of something and you have to go, or better tell them your going to be tied up for the next few days could they call you back in four or five days. Now they are going to be scratching their head saying "whats up? what have I done"
The ball and the power get back on your side, you start appearing to your ex to be more attractive and desirable that way. So play it cool after this contact they will call you again, keep it short again but show her that you are interested by talking to her for about five minutes and then say you gotta go. From now on your busy you can only talk a few minutes finally your ex will desperately want you back.
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